A Few Suggestions

• If you are a pregnant woman, you should take special care not to lock your keys in your car. Especially in the ignition. You may think this is a statement that applies across the board to all people, not just pregnant women. That may be true. However. A pregnant woman who has locked her keys in her car may be slightly more likely than the general population to totally lose what little composure she has in the face of such a dire situation as being locked out of her car in a SANDWICH SHOP PARKING LOT when the other set of keys is in a business trip in California.
• If you are related in any way to the aforementioned, totally hypothetical woman above and she calls you on the phone in a moment of what may be classified as slight hysteria seeking your help and reassurance, the one thing you should not do is laugh at her. You insensitive clod.
  
• If you should, despite your ideal marriage and relationship with your parents, fall into such an unfortunate circumstance as this one, you should call the police. Yes, I'm serious. A nice dispatcher for the police may in fact be eating lunch at said sandwich shop while your closest male relatives laugh at you on the phone, and she may overhear your predicament and offer not only the fact that the police are quite good in such situations; she may also have the key to such a police encounter in the form of a telephone number.

In a totally unrelated note, I would like to say that today, I hereby take back anything negative I have ever said about the police (particularly with reference to my receiving a "fix-it ticket" for having a burned-out brake light). May the police's salaries be raised regularly each year, and may they be given a ham for both Thanksgiving and Christmas.. Amen.