Conversations with Caleb.

I.

Last Halloween, when I was very grumpy and four days past my due date, we took home two enormous, unopened bags of hot dogs from a church function, which I immediately dumped in the freezer (I really hate hot dogs). A few months ago, Caleb requested a hot dog for lunch, so I pried one free, microwaved it until it exploded, and then tried again with better results a second time. That honkin' bag of hot dogs has sat in our fridge since then, grossing me out every time I open the fridge. Until this morning:

Me, having an epiphany: Hey! It's garbage day! [Glancing in the fridge.] Where're the hot dogs? We can throw them out!

Caleb: Isn't plastic recyclable?

Me: Yes. But hot dogs aren't.

Caleb, dropping his head: Oops.

Me: Did you throw them in the recycling bin?

Caleb, with deep remorse: Yeah.

Caleb the graduate

II.

On Tuesday:

C: Mama? Tomorrow will you teach me to change the baby's diapers?

M, suspicious: Um, no. Why?

C: Because I like to learn how to do fun, new things! Like snapping. And cleaning the toilet. You're going to teach me to clean the toilet this week, aren't you?

Note: It seems cruel and unusual not to teach someone to scrub the toilets who's raring to do so, but really? I don't think I can stand to clean up the mess from Caleb cleaning the toilets.

Typical Caleb

III.

Several weeks ago, in the car:

C: Why are there all those pictures that are just gray? You know, the ones that look old?

M: Because that's how cameras used to work. They didn't used to be able to see color. In fact, they even had to color pictures in because they couldn't print in color either.

C: Oh.

M: Also: did you know that movies used to be all in black and white, too? Because they couldn't make cameras yet that could work with color.

C: Black and white movies? So everybody was a zebra?

Pensive Caleb (with wound)